and now for something completely different!...

More pipes than a plumbers merchant.

but at least we can have a brew

 As most people will be only too well aware, this week is dominated for us by my rapid wakeup call.  For those who  don't yet know, last Friday I suffered an Ischemic Stroke, basically a blood clot hitting my brain and making me think now that the left hand side is just a lump of lead.  As I said this happened Friday morning and within about an hour, Sandra had organised getting me to the hospital in Lefkas with transportation in the shape of Jez and Debs car, which was easier to get into.  there I had a chest X-ray?  no idea why and a CT scan which apparently showed that contrary to popular belief I do have a brain, the Doctor there confirmed our own suspicions that it was a stroke and we were dispatched to Ioannina by ambulance full speed on flashing lights and managing to confirm the accuracy of the Epirus pot hole map by running into every one of them.

and the view ain't too shabby.

the bedpan whose day job is a shovel.

 one and a half hours later I am being wheeled into the neurology wards at the university hospital, which is the premier hospital in the north west of Greece.  That said the competition for this title is not hotly contested.  Don't get me wrong, the clinical service provided is fine although I suspect that each professional likes to keep his secrets close to his (or her) chest.  It seems that i

looks a bit like "the mummies revenge"

 have been suffering from several things which have created the onset of the stroke condition, in fact I think I had seven of the eight major risk factors( apparently too much sex isn't a risk so I'm clear there!).  I have hypertension (blood pressure), diabetes type 2, I am at least 20 kilo's overweight (that's a full sack of tatties!), I have a sedentary lifestyle (what's retirement about then?) and of course the big no-no, I smoke well until last Friday I did, No one has let me have a smell of one since but I can't say that's bothering me I have other pre-occupations at the moment.  Of course I now have a specialist for all of these things and a physiotherapist, none of whom talk to the rest.  Don't misunderstand me at this level things are good if a little "jobsworth" and bureaucratic, really just what most people who know Greece would expect, and they do handle foreigners marvellously, on my ward we have an Italian another Brit and a German all of whom they take in their stride even though there is little "johnny foreigner" spoken by most of them.

Kettle on the go., great 70's tiling.

 Yes the real problem here is the lower level care, the personal care, the food, the cleanliness especially in a hospital environment.  For those of a weak or billious nature you may wish to ignore the next couple of paragraphs.

the most appetising meal of the week (smelt aweful) 

 Firstly, personal care, virtually everyone is catheterised, and hooked up to a saline drip on admission into the system, so never visit if you look ill they may get you.  My theory for this is that if you have a drip you cannot dehydrate, if you have a tube in your willy you can't wee the bed.  I substantiate this claim by offering the following facts of my experience.  I have not been offered any drinks at all until yesterday morning when a glass, polystyrene cup of warm milk appeared with breakfast and then again today.  This only brought two days after I had insisted on the removal of all the superfluous hose-pipes.  Again yesterday two days after I had managed to escape the ties keeping me attached to the bed, someone came to see if i needed clean sheets.  As it happened Sandra had changed the sheets regularly before  that point anyway.  Even though I was tied to the bed abd couldn't get to the, admittedly, en-suite shower/toilet, I had been offered no help at all with personal hygene, no wash, shave teeth cleaning, well there was in my case because I have a Sandra, but it looks like most of the people here don't have.  don't read now if you don't like nitty gritty.

at last freedom from the tubes i get to sit on a chair.

After three days I really did need to go to the loo (No. 2's you know).  I was confident that if we got th associated bags and drips onto a stand I could get there with some assistance, She went to get a wheel chair and came back with it and a rather irate rottweiler (nurse) who was determined it would not happen, in the meantime San and I had got me into the chair and then in the en-suite) and just about to transfer onto the loo (a very low level affair)The rottweiler is by this time on the phone to the doctor who says there is no way I should be out of bed, so me being what I am asked if they just expected me to hold it in forever or until I shat the bed.

and the balcony is usually full of pigeons.

 To cut the long story a little shorter they didn't let me use the loo but got me back in bed tout suite and produced the green bed pan show in the picture, getting on this was far more of a trial than going to the loo and certainly less dignified.  Afterwards Sandra went to look for a sluice room like you would find in most hospitals, no she had to clean it in the en-suite  fair enough can we have some gloves and disinfectant - no gloves here is a tub of iodine, use your hands, yeah like that was going to happen,  The unstoppable force met the immovable object, and Sandra got three pairs of gloves and an apology.

there's still snow on them there hills.

Food is very very bland and usually involved a hunk of meat, and a plate full or either rice pearl barley, or potatoes and the whole thing swimming in half a gallon of rancid fat encrusted, evil smelling liquor.  we have been getting Salad foods and meats from carrefour or occasional thing from the hospital canteen which is much better than what they give the inmates. And of we have been brewing up a good old cuppa on a frequent basis.

I'm not quite upto fixing the curtain fixing yet.

I have lots more of these little stories but  really we do not wan't to dwell on the negative side as the positive side has perhaps saved my life and we are both very very grateful for that.

the walls are falling apart

The building is about thirty years old we are told and is a teaching hospital on the campus of Ioannina University, it is showing signs of degradation but our room comes with beautiful views to to snow fields of Metsovo etc.. so it's not all bad being here, the downside is hat the hospital comes with a resident pack (14 or 15) large dogs, which are quite mostly during the day but kick up one hell of a din at night time.  Our balcony is also home to dozens of bloody cooing pigeons infesting us all with various fungal deceases etc, and to top it all the re-bar in the walls and frame of the building is beginning to blow away the concrete.  None of this will be fixed while the Greeks are having to pay more interest then they are earning.  Things can only get better as the song used to say.

The good news is that with luck and  following wind I should get parole tomorrow and be able to go to the temporary home kindly donated by Ray and Linda where I can spend some time recuperating.  That is of course as long as the old health doesn't throw another curved ball between now and then, fingers crossed.  Before going I would like to sincerely thank all the people who have sent kind works and comments via social media, phone and email, you'll never know how much that mean't to me in the first few day, a time when it all to easy to feel sorry for myself and not just a few tears flowed.  A Special huge thanks to Deb and Jez for their love, time and effort in getting us here.  Tony and Liz for being stalwart friends and for bringing a smile to my face when it seemed improbable and Ray and Linda for being such special pals in our hour of need.  Penultimately a huge thank you to the unsung hero's as always the medical staff without whom things may have been a tad different.  And finally to my boys their families and Sandra's Dad, it looks like you're gonna have to put up with me for a day or two longer so I should be able to spend some more of  your inheritance.